The nature of emotions: are there good and bad emotions?

A lot of my work with clients is about helping them understand and harness their emotions.  A large part of this work is helping them explore the nature of their emotional experiences and relate to them in more positive ways.  This can be difficult for people who are experiencing strong emotions that are uncomfortable, but it’s a necessary part of healing.

Most of us tend to categorize our emotions.  Emotions that make us feel good are “good emotions,” and those that make us feel uncomfortable are “bad” emotions.  Categorizing our emotions in this way is actually not very helpful as emotions are both temporary, and also all emotions serve a purpose.  After all, our emotional states have survived over 250 million years of evolution!  They are with us for a reason and are all appropriate in certain situations.  Let’s explore what each of the primary emotions do for us.

What are emotions?

According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, the author of several NY Times Best Sellers on the topic of emotions states, “emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.”  Our emotional reactions are a response to the meanings we assign to events that happen to us and within us.  These meanings are conveyed to us by thoughts, which are typically automatic and often just outside of our conscious awareness.  When we have thoughts, we experience physical and chemical changes in our body that prepare us to react.  The complexity of these meanings, thoughts, and reactions in the body usually result in us feeling more than one emotion at the same time.  Often, we may only be conscious of a single emotion – called a surface emotion – because of a strong response to the event.  However, there are often many other emotions or combinations of emotions hiding just beneath the surface.  These emotions may be separate from the surface emotion or may contribute to it or reinforce it.  Given how complex our emotional responses are it is no wonder that we can become quickly overwhelmed by them.  Sometimes our emotions may seem confusing.  We may feel at their mercy.  A valuable step in gaining mastery over our emotions is understanding not only the negative consequences, but the positive aspects and intent of them – especially those that we typically think of as “bad” emotions.  Here is a rundown of the benefits of the six primary emotions.

What are the primary emotions?

There are many models of emotions.  For simplicity I am using one that has been adopted by many providers which identifies 6 primary emotions:  anger, fear, sadness, feeling powerful, feeling safe, and joyfulness.  Each of these primary emotions can also be broken down into other related emotions.  For instance, feeling scared can break down into helplessness, confusion, vulnerability.  When we feel safe, we may also feel calm or relaxed. And each of these secondary emotions also have emotions beneath them.  And so on.  For an example of a more complex model represented in an emotion wheel look here.

Anger

Anger is one of the most frequently expressed emotions.  It is often a surface emotion arising from feelings of helplessness, injustice, fear, or other emotions that signal a threat.   Anger is also one of the least respected emotions because of its destructive nature, and also because of social conditioning.  However, in certain circumstances anger is a very useful emotion.  It is designed to elevate vigilance and foster aggression in survival situations.  It prepares us to fight when we perceive a threat or are actually attacked.  Anger can be a tool for motivation to overcome adversity, accomplish goals, overcome fears, and even to self-reflect.  Used appropriately anger can be a force for positive change in our lives.

Fear

Fear is another emotion that is often misunderstood and considered to be a “bad” emotion.  Uncontrolled fear can paralyze you and keep you from moving forward.  However, fear is also a critical emotion for survival.  It literally keeps you alive by keeping impulses to take unhealthy risks in check.  When you are in dangerous situations fear heightens your awareness and may motivate you to take action to escape unhealthy or dangerous situations.  Fear can motivate you to make needed life changes, and in appropriate doses may add excitement to life.  Groups that experience fear together often form deep social bonds.

Sadness

Most of us from a very young age have been conditioned to avoid feeling sad.  Our parents often tell us to not be sad when we are growing up, and our friends may do the same when we are adults.  However, feeling sad is a natural part of life.  We feel sad when we experience loss, such as when a friend or family member dies, when a meaningful or pleasurable event ends, or when we experience significant life changes.  Sadness in the context of these experiences is a natural reaction that allows us to process loss in a healthy way.  It may ground us, deepen meaning in our lives, and make us more resilient to future losses.

Feeling powerful

The role feeling powerful plays in our experience depends on the source of the emotion.  There is a difference between relying on external factors like status, wealth, or position, and drawing on inner strength.   When the source of our power is external, feeling powerful may be fickle as those external sources may be taken away.  However, when our sense of power comes from reliance on inner strengths such as character, confidence, or resilience it may be transformative.  Research published in the journal Psychological Science suggests that a sense of power “has dramatic effects on thought and behavior.”  A strong internal sense of power “transforms people psychologically,” increasing their ability to concentrate, plan, manage impulses, and adapt to change.   When we feel powerful we believe in our inner strengths, and we become more powerful.

Feeling Safe

Our brain is always looking out for threats to our safety.  Our sense of safety is based in the neurobiology of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) which governs our responses to perceived threats.  When we feel threatened, a part of the ANS called the sympathetic nervous system is activated, causing our bodies and minds to enter a fight, flight, freeze, or faint response.  We become overwhelmed by fear or anxiety, making it difficult to interact with the world and others.  However, when we feel safe in our environment, emotions, and relationships, we are able to function and live more full, happier lives.  We are able to be more vulnerable and develop deeper bonds in our relationships.  We are more compassionate, empathetic, authentic, and even courageous.   We are more sociable and able to connect with others. When we feel safe we are better at concentrating, planning, organizing, and being creative.  We feel more confident and able to take risks.  Feeling emotionally and physically safe is perhaps the most helpful experience we can have for our mental wellbeing and satisfaction with our lives.

Joyfulness

Feelings of joy are a result of the release of two powerful neurotransmitters in our brain, dopamine and serotonin.  Both of these neurotransmitters are heavily involved with happiness and contentment with life.   The benefits of feeling more joy include improved immune system, longer life, and a more positive outlook.  Feeling joy has a soothing effect on the autonomic nervous system and may improve digestion, circulation, breathing, and lower stress.  Participating in pleasurable activities that bring joy will improve overall happiness and quality of life, making you more resilient in times of stress.

So, are there good and bad emotions?

The answer is “it depends.”  Emotions themselves evolved over hundreds of millions of years to help keep our species alive.  All emotions – even those that sometimes have damaging consequences – play a fundamental role in our safety, wellbeing, and quality of life.  The goal is to learn to harness your emotions and make them work for you, instead of against you.  Learning to identify and name your emotional states, accept your emotions instead of avoiding or suppressing them, and how to use skills to experience your emotions while remaining present can be of great benefit.  And if you are really struggling with an emotion, you may benefit from seeking help from a licensed mental health professional.